The Love I Meant To Say
by letmebeyourstar
Summary: Nate Wilson is broken. Aiden used him, and played with his heart. But then why is he still in love with this boy? Aiden Jones was impossible to ignore. And when he re enters Nate's Life, how is he able to resist? Nate/Aiden, Boy/Boy. if you don't like it, then don't read
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I could see him from a mile away. The same blonde hair that I would run my fingers through. The blue eyes that made my heart beat faster when he looked down at me with his pearly smile. The same blue eyes that now avoid glances in public. The same eyes that now belong to the school slut, Catherine Davis.

I saw this coming anyway, he only used me. And when I couldn't give him what he wanted unless he loved me too, he ran away. He's gay, he told me that. But he's decided to stay in the closet and keep his reputation at the school. The star athlete dating the head cheerleader, typical high school procedure. And of course, I'm stuck all alone wishing I could so something about it.

Stop it. Just focus on getting through the rest of the day. I'm going to 1st period language arts. Ill go to class, and ill stop daydreaming. I just need to walk into the classroom.

As I enter, I take my seat in the front of the room, and set my stuff down. As I go to sit down, my books go flying off my desk and onto someone's feet. I crouch down and try to grab the books, only finding a pair of strong hands. I look up and find only a pair of bright blue eyes on a beyond flawless face. The air goes out of my chest as I see Aiden, the one boy I wouldn't want to be touching my hands right now.

"Thanks.." I mumble as I quickly grab the books and try to stand as he grabs my wrist. I look at him as he smiles, and pulls me up, quickly whispering "better watch out next time, don't want to hurt anyone now would we?" as he sits down in the desk next to mine.

I take a few steps back, and walk out of the classroom, and into the boys bathroom. Throwing my stuff on the ground, I look at myself in the cracked mirror. My already pale skin a ghostly white, as if I saw a ghost myself. My green eyes watery, and my body shaking as I try to forget the last time those hands touched me. The last time he said I was his..

{Flashback}

_His bedroom was just as I pictured it. The medium sized bed in one corner, desk in the other. The room littered with clothes and papers, and the walls covered in posters of football players. _

_I look down at my hands, which are shaking uncontrollably. I sigh, and reach for my phone, waiting for his text to say when he can come upstairs and be with me again. Suddenly the door opens, and he runs in and locks it. _

_He turns to look at me and smiles as he walks over and hugs me. His warm hands hold me, and make my shaking and worrying stop. He lets go and looks into my eyes. "it's ok, you'll be ok now." He puts his hand on my face as he makes our lips connect. _

_The electricity flows through my body, as he deepens the kiss. He grabs my face, as he pushes me against the wall. He thrusts his tongue into my parted lips, as his shoves me harder into the wall. His strong hands trace the side of my body, as he grinds into me. I let out a light moan, as his hot mouth starts to kiss and suck on my neck. Aiden groans softly, as he sucks harder on my neck. He quickly finds my lips again, hungrily attacking my needy mouth. He bits down on my lower lip and grinds into me once more, causing me to moan even louder. He makes our lips part as he stares down at my face. I look into his soft blue eyes, as his mouth moves over to my ear, as he softly starts to whisper something. "Lay on the bed", he moans as he takes my hand and lays me down. _

_I sit up to kiss him, as he pushes me down and starts to suck on my neck, grinding into my already tight jeans. He lays his hand on my chest, as he slowly starts to guide his hand down my body, biting softly on my neck. His hand grabs onto my pants, as he goes to unbutton my jeans. I swiftly move his hands up onto my chest. His hot mouth comes off of my neck, as he looks at me. _

_"What's wrong? Don't you want to?" he looks into my eyes, as I quickly say before I can stop myself "Do you love me?" _

_He gets off of me, as he walks over to the other side of the room, running his hand through his hair. "Nate… I like you but we both know this is just... What we do right?" he looks over at me, as I walk up to him. _

_"This is what we do? So you were just planning on fucking me this entire time? I told you that I wasn't ready yet.. I'm not going to sleep with someone who doesn't love me too. But since I'm the only boy who would satisfy your needs you don't really care, do you?" _

_I walk over to his bed, as I slowly sit down. "Nate, I've told you before. I care about you, more than you'll ever know. But I cant love anyone right now. I cant risk it" I look up at him as he takes a seat next to me. _

_"You can't risk what? Losing your reputation as the golden boy of the school? Or you just cant love anyone because you cant take the stress of it all? Because if that's the case then I can help you. I'm terrified of this. You're the first boy who has ever liked me. You were my first kiss.. My first love.." _

_Aiden stands up, as he slowly opens the door. "I cant Nate.. I'm sorry but you have to go. Ill see you at school..." I stare into his eyes, as I slowly start to stand. My eyes water, as I walk up to him. I grab his face and pull him in for a kiss. He sinks into it, as I pull away. "Goodbye Aiden." I walk out of his room as he closes the door._

{End of Flashback}

I grab my stuff and check the clock, class started 10 minutes ago. Swiftly walking out of the bathroom, I stumble into the small classroom. "Ah Mr. Wilson, Great for you to join us".

The elderly teacher gestures for me to take my seat, as I quickly sit next to Aiden. "We were just picking partners for our book reports," the teacher says, as he hands me the packet. "Since you decided to be late to class, I had the pleasure to pick your partner for you." He smiles as I look at my packet, my partners name written on the page in blood red ink. Aiden Jones. I start to object as he interrupts me. "You and Mr. Jones will have class time to work on this, but you must work before or after school on your own time. Now please get started."

I hear a desk screech against the tiled floor, as I look up to see Aiden sitting right next to me, his face inches from mine. "We better get started, unless you want to come to my house and… help me out?" he whispers, slowly inching his face back, never breaking eye contact. I grab my pencil and a sheet of paper, and start to write down ideas. "We could make a poster, I mean… its kinda obvious but it wouldn't take to long to make." I look over at Aiden, who has spent the entire time sucking on the tip of his pen.

"I'm surprised that more people haven't figured it out Aiden, considering how well you're sucking on the pen" I whisper, as he takes it out of his mouth with a small laugh. "You would be surprised how well I can suck Nate, if you gave me the chance". I feel my face heat up as I avoid eye contact. "So why don't we go to your house after School, we can make this… poster. I've always wanted to see your house". He smiles, as the bell rings for 2nd period.

"Ill see you then Nate. Make sure to prepare yourself before hand, I don't think I can handle doing that on my own." He smiles and slowly walks away. I sit in my chair, mouth open and unable to move an inch. I hate him.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Before you read, just wanted to warn you.. some strong language ahead... just warning you.. ok_**

Chapter 2

The rest of the day was a blur. My mind was swirling with thoughts, memories, ideas… anything but the stupid lessons taught by the ancient teachers at this school. The day was over before it seemed to start, and I was loathing this moment.

Walking over to me locker, I undo my lock and open my locker grabbing my books. As I go to close it a strong hand shuts it for me. "Aiden, I think I can manage closing my own locker, thank you" I say, as Aiden stands in front of me.

"Since when are you in a bad mood? This morning you seemed to be pretty entertained." He says, as he inches his face closer to mine. "Aiden…" I start to protest, as he puts his hand on my chest.

"No ones watching us", he says as he tries to capture his lips in mine. But before I can stop myself, my hand is smacking him across the face. Hard. "Fuck", he says "Since when are you the rough kind? I'm not complaining…but still."

The smile on his face widens, and he grabs my hand. I quickly yank it away, as I start to walk him out of the building. "Come on, lets go to my house" I say. "Trying to get me in your bed huh? I bet you'd be hot as hell while I'm fu-". I step in front of him and slam him into the pale lockers behind him.

"What is your angle here Aiden? You dumped me, and yet now you're flirting with me again. I honestly don't know what the hell you're thinking. Are you just going to keep playing with my emotions? Because I don't think I can take much more" I let him go, as he grabs my face in his hands.

"Shit Nate, I'm sorry ok? And I said I still like you. But I told you… I can't love you." He smiles at me as he puts his hands down. I feel my eyes start to water, as I walk to my run down car. "Lets go." My hand grasps the handle of my car and I get in the front seat. Aiden climbs into the passenger seat, as we drive to my house.

The drive was in complete silence. No sexual comments, or even any sounds. As we arrive at my house, I notice the lights are all off. Great, now I have to be alone with him. I sigh, and unlock the car as we enter the house. "Where are your parents? Or are we going to be all alone?" Aiden says, as he turns to look at me. "They're not home yet, so I guess were all alone."

I grab his hand as I take him up to my room. "We should get to work" I say, setting our stuff on my bed. "Yeah, but first I uh.. need to do something." I turn and look at him as he closes my bedroom door, His face a bright red as he starts to walk towards me.

"Aiden, I already told you no." I say, as he starts to push me against the wall. "Aiden, your scaring me" I start to say, as he interrupts me. "I should have done this a while ago Nate. And what better time then when were finally all alone. There's something I should tell you."

He moves his face closer to mine, a he starts to whisper in my ear. "You probably think I'm a dick, and though I may seem like it… I should tell you a little story. its about a boy who was in love once.. but something happened" I look up at him, and see tears welling up in his eyes.

"Aiden…" he walks away from me as he starts to tell me his story. " he thought he could trust them, so he believed them when they said he loved him too. But he was wrong. And after he got what he wanted, he was gone.."

I walk over to Aiden, and grab his hand. "Stop" he says, as he turns to me. "I'm sorry Nate, I treated you the same way he treated me. And I'm really sorry. But you need to understand, were both broken. We both need help and I'm just scared that you wont do that for me."

I look up at him, and sigh. "I would never do that to you. we can fix each other Aiden, if you just let me. Just trust me Aiden" I look into his deep blue eyes, and finally make our lips connect.

I let out a sigh as Aiden intensifies the kiss. He puts his hand on my face, as he pushes me onto the bed. "God Nate" he moans, as he starts to grind against me, making my jeans become uncomfortably tight. Aiden makes our lips release, as he starts to kiss my neck, while palming my straining erection through my jeans. "Aiden" I moan, as I hear I yell from a familiar voice.

"Aiden? Was that you?" I ask, soon realizing the figure standing in my doorway. I push Aiden off of me as I feel my heart start racing. "Mom.. what are you doing here?"

My mom soon enters my room, grabbing me by the wrist. "What the fuck is going on here Nate! I really need an explanation, because I have no reason in hell why you would be kissing a…. boy in your bed!" I go to open my mouth, but it I soon shut by a pair of warm lips.

Aiden soon disconnects our lips, as he grabs my hand. 'Why hello Mrs. W, nice to finally meet my boyfriends mom!" he says as he grabs my hand, being soon swatted away.

"Excuse me? what the hell is going on?" she yells as I turn to Aiden, mouth a gape. "Yeah, what the hell Aiden? were not dating-" I try to say, but is soon interrupted by Aiden.

"That's not what we agreed on about 5 minutes ago when you were sucking my face off-"

"AIDEN!' I yell as I push him behind me to face my mother. I look at her, rage in her eyes. "Mom, I'm sorry. I.. I didn't want you to find out this way" I say, sitting my mom down on my bed.

"What? that my son is a fucking Faggot!" I stare at my mom, with nothing but regret in her eyes. I feel Aiden grab my hand as he starts to say something. "Don't you dare say a word. you did this to him. you gave him this... disease. it's your fault!" my mother starts to walk towards him, as I pull her back.

"Mom.. he didn't do anything.. I didn't choose this and it's not a disease. I'm still the same person I've always been.

"Like hell your the same person! you are NOT my son anymore. I didn't raise you like this. I thought you were a good boy Nate. But I guess I was wrong. I want you to leave this house, and don't EVER think of coming back unless you decide to get help."

I feel Aiden's grip on my hand tighten as I feel the room start spinning. I hear jumbled words being said, but only one thing keeps replaying in my mind. My mom doesn't want me. She thinks I have a disease, that I need to be cured. The only thing I hear before the world goes black is my mother telling me one last time...

"Goodbye Nathan."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_{Flashback}_

_I awoke with a bubbling of excitement in my stomach. My Mom, Dad and I were going on our summer trip this morning. I jump out of bed as I throw on some clothes before running downstairs to greet my parents. _

_"Daddy! Mommy!" I yell, as I see them eating at the kitchen table. My father sighs, as he musses my hair. "Good morning sport" My father says, as he goes to start eating his large bowl of cereal. _

_"Honey, I told you to stop giving him those ridiculous nicknames, we named our kid for a reason. Call him Nathan. Its then name we agreed on" my mother grumbles, as she does her best to give me her most loving smile. _

_"Good morning Nathan, how did you sleep?" she says, trying her best to convince me she actually cares. "Fine" I mumble as I sit down in the chair next to my father. _

_Silence ticks on, as I can barley stand to hold it in any longer. "When are we going to the airport Daddy?" I say, as my mother slams her fork down on her plate. _

_"Nathan Robert Wilson!" my mother screams, as turns to me. "Do not disrespect your father like that! You know not to use that tone with us!" she says as she turns to my father. _

_"Honey..." he says, as she grabs her hand. "Nathan was just asking me a question, there's no need to shout at him. Now lets just keep eating." _

_As my father starts to stand, my mom hits him across the face. "How dare you talk back to me! I am your wife, but that doesn't mean you own me." _

_I stare at my mother, as I feel tears start to fall down my face. "Mommy! Don't hurt him!" I yell, as I try to stand in front of my dad, to save him from my mom. "Its ok Bud…" he says, as he starts to lead me upstairs. "We'll talk later. It'll be ok. I love you Nate" he says as he kisses my head, sending me upstairs. _

_As I start to head up the stairs, I hear my mom start to scream at my dad. "You've disrespected me for the absolute LAST time Robert Wilson! You know how hard it is for me right now. Having to take those pills to be stable, even though they turn me into this! And yet you embarrass me in front of my own son!" _

_She turns away from my dad, as he walks up to her. "I think your over reacting quite a bit Catherine. You don't even love our son anyway, so why do you care!" I stumble back at those words, as I run into my room. But before I reach the door, I hear the terrible noise. _

_I turn back, just in time to see my mother starts beating my father. She keeps punching and kicking him, until he stumbles out the door, tears in his eyes. "Get the FUCK OUT ROBERT!" she screams, as she slams the door in his face. She slowly walks away from the door and walk into her bedroom, as I start to scream._

_{End of flashback}_

"Nate?" the figure says, as they start to shake my body. My vision starts to come back, as I hear something screaming, suddenly realizing its me. "Aiden…" I mumble as I sit up in a familiar looking bedroom.

My head is spinning, as I see the silhouette of Aiden in front of me. "It's alright Nate… It's me" He says, as he pulls me in for a tight hug. "I'm so sorry Nate… I shouldn't have done anything back at your house. It's my fault…" He puts his hands on my face, as I suddenly regain my vision.

Aiden looks as flawless as ever, and for the first time since I've met him, I can see something real in his eyes. It was the same look my father gave me that night. The look that tells you "I will do anything for you." Aiden, the boy who broke me and I thought had nothing left for me. But I was wrong.

There was something, and although it's not love… he still cares about me. And that's all I've ever wanted. "It's not your fault Aiden. She was going to find out anyway. You just helped me do what I couldn't on my own. So thank you" I say, as I look around the room I'm sitting in.

I expect to find my small room, with my drawings and pictures covering the walls; but instead I find an unmistakable area. Aiden's bedroom, with his football posters and not as messy floor. I start to blush as I think of the last time I was in here. Before all of this had happened to us.

"Remember this room Nate?" Aiden says, as he lifts me of the ground. "It was where we had one of the hottest make out sessions I've even been in". He says as he starts to smirk at my blushing face. "Don't ruin the moment Aiden, please" he laughs as he opens up his backpack.

"You know, you were out for a few hours Nate. So I took the time to start the project we were supposed to be working on." He pulls out some poster paper, as I look at the project, already almost half done. "Wow Aiden, I didn't think you liked working hard. I'm impressed." I say, as I check my watch.

"Oh shit.. it's 11:00? I have to go to school early tomorrow!" I say, before I realize I can't go back home. Aiden grabs my backpack, handing it to me. "I took the liberty of packing up some of your stuff. You can stay with me tonight." He says, as he smiles at me. "Ill… go get changed then.." I say, as I open his door and leave his room.

I look around, and attempt to find where the nearest bathroom is, but can't. I open Aiden's door, about to ask where the nearest bathroom is but before I can get the words out, I see a sight that would make the angels cry.

Aiden was in the midst of changing. His was standing in his bedroom, in nothing but his underwear. His skin was tan, and his muscular body was quite a sight to see. His underwear clung perfectly in all the right places, and before Nate could close the door, Aiden was already laughing at him.

"Came to see the show Wilson?" He says, as he starts to walk over to me. My mind was swirling, and the only thing I could think of was to not stare at his crotch. "I uh… umm.. where's the uh… b… bathroom?" I spit out, as I feel my face become a deeper shade of red.

"Its over here" He says, as he takes my hand and leads me over. "Have fun" he says as he pulls me in for a deep kiss. His hand comes up on my face, and before I can touch him, he's already walking away.

"Damn" I say, as I walk into the bathroom. As I start to undress and change, I notice the clothes that Aiden grabbed for me.

A pair of boxers, another pair of boxers, an undershirt, and a…. oh god… he did not. I change into my night clothes and walk into Aiden's room. "Damn" he says, looking at me with a smile. "I was hoping you'd wear the extra special thing I put in there" he says, as he starts to lean into me. I push him back, as I pull out the horrid thing.

"A jockstrap? Really? How did you even find it?" I say as Aiden looks at me, eyes wide. "Uh.. Nate… that's mine. I didn't think you owned one. But that's hot as hell." He winks at me, as he sits down on the bed.

"This Is… yours? Oh…well…anyway. Can I please borrow some pants? I'm not comfortable with you seeming me in my underwear yet.." I say, as I feel my face burn again. "Fine" he says, as he grabs me a pair of sweats out of his drawer.

"You take all the fun out of this" he says, as he goes to turn off the light. I lay down on his bed, as he comes over and lays by me, slowly wrapping his arms around me. "Good night Nate" he says, as I burry my face in his chest. "Goodnight Aiden" I say, as I slowly fall asleep in his arms.


End file.
